Sometimes, travel is uncomfortable—not unlike a middle seat on an airplane. With so many factors up in the air, it’s likely that something will go wrong: Miss your connection on a tight 30-minute layover? Forget to pack a toothbrush? Accidentally flood your hotel room with expensive champagne and have to pay to get the carpet replaced? And sometimes, the only thing left to do is commiserate with your fellow travelers about all the turbulence. DJ Ali Shirazinia, also known as Dubfire, shares his quirkiest travel moments:
What’s the weirdest reason you’ve missed a flight?
A customs official in Milan thought that my passport had been tampered with even though I provided plenty of other identification. He took so long to make a decision to let me exit the EU that I ended up missing my flight to the USA.
Describe the worst seatmate you’ve ever had.
I tend to get quite a number of interesting characters seated next to me. I had someone recently on a flight out of Ibiza who looked extremely pale while holding two sick bags in case the need to hurl should arise. Then she kept moving seats and acting very jittery until I guess she decided she just couldn’t handle the flight and got off before we took off.
Have you ever extended a trip? Where, and why?
Usually in Ibiza; and that decision is typically made during an after party!
What’s the worst thing you’ve ever forgotten to pack?
My DJ laptop!
Strangest adventure you’ve had on a layover?
At the risk of sounding boring… With my schedule I usually try to get as much rest as I can when I’m traveling because I don’t really get much when I’m performing. So I try to go to the nearest airport hotel and and catch some shut-eye until my next flight leaves.
What’s the worst thing you’ve had to explain to the hotel staff?
I had an after party in my room in Ibiza once and there is a big bathtub in the center of the room. One of my friends decided that it was a good idea to fill it up and get in with a few others while fully clothed. Nearly all of the water spilled out, flooding the room. Once everyone left I was simply too tired to alert the staff so slept for a bit then woke up to find the room in shambles and had to explain the whole mess to reception.
Have you had any medical emergencies while abroad?
Last year in Tokyo I woke up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom and while going I got dizzy and passed out. I woke up on the floor with a sharp pain the back of my head and blood all over so had to be rushed to the hospital. Nothing serious, though, but it was pretty scary at the time as I wasn’t sure what I hit (or damaged) on the way down!
Is there a meal you ate while traveling that you wish you hadn’t?
Oh, lots! Your judgement is severely impaired if you hop aboard a flight starving for food. So even If I can’t manage to squeeze in a meal, I always try to eat some fruit or nuts prior to flying.
When the captain of the plane says there’s turbulence, you think ______.
That I’d better skip that glass of wine as turbulence always causes a mess when you’re drinking from stemware.